Georgetown VIP
News in Georgetown
Calendar of Events in Georgetown
| Linda Samson - Marriage and family therapist, Georgetown |
 |
 |
 |
| Georgetown VIP | ||||||
Linda Samson of Samson Counseling is a registered marriage and family therapist operating in Georgetown area for over 25 years. She offers help in marriage and family counseling, sex therapy, grief, depression, alcoholism in the privacy of her home office, beautifully secluded to ensure the maximum privacy of her clients. Andrea Dubravsky: Linda, how did you become a marriage and family therapist? Linda Samson: Actually, my students first planted the seed in my mind. I was a family studies college professor for 10 years. At the request of my students, I volunteered one semester in the student counseling centre. That experience changed the course of my life. I realized I was a gifted intuitive and had found my life’s purpose - if you will. So, I went back to Guelph University and did a second Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I completed my accreditation through the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and started a full-time clinical practice in 1985. Andrea Dubravsky: What are the most common problems people bring into counselling? Linda Samson: In terms of individual counseling, clients mostly present feeling anxious, depressed or defeated by life’s storms. Depression in women is often associated with marital distress. Some people need to mourn the loss of loved ones. Others come to heal from trauma inflicted by people they knew, needed and loved. Two major sources of marital distress people come to counseling with: a discrepancy in sexual desire (when you don’t care if you ever have sex again and he feels profoundly undesirable); as well as the disruption of the attachment bond (when your marriage is no longer a sanctuary but, instead, a place where you feel guarded and alone). Andrea Dubravsky: What outcome can people expect when they come to see you? Do you magically cure their pain? Linda Samson: I believe that people need support in order to be able to weather life’s storms. In times of distress, the counseling relationship provides a place of rest and comfort, where one is understood, accepted and respected. So, when people come to me, I offer no magic wand. What you can expect however, is an opportunity to enter into a safe dialogue in order to learn more about yourself, your partner and /or your children. The goal is new insights, and a shift in understanding as well as behavior, which then hopefully leads to a more satisfying life. Andrea Dubravsky: What is the most challenging aspect of marriage and family counselling work? Linda Samson: The most challenging aspect of counseling is working with what I have come to recognize as the “average contemporary marriage”. Relationships have never been more difficult. Close to half the couples now attending bridal shows and planning a wedding in 2011, will divorce. Research indicates that the longer couples live together, the lower their reported contentment (Real, 2002). Here’s the thing. A couple presents for marriage counseling and the wife has given up. She doesn’t even hate her husband anymore. She knows her husband loves her. She suspects how devastated he would be if she left, but she no longer feels his love. Trying to get this relationally damaged man (who feels unappreciated and unloved) and his resentful, dissatisfied wife to re-connect is the essence of my work. I offer no quick fixes. Nor do I offer band aids. The work is not easy. If you want to be truly close to the people you love, you will have to work for it….every day. You will have to take risks. And…it’s worth it. Andrea Dubravsky: You hear a lot of painful stories? Do you absorb people's pain or do you stay detached? Linda Samson: Yes, I do hear a lot of painful stories. I try not to absorb people’s pain and I do not stay detached. What I do is somewhere in the middle. I describe the experience as “bearing witness to” people’s stories. A client once described it as” loving with an open heart”. The truth is I feel privileged to do the work I do. And I have come to know that I receive as much as I give. Self care is essential in order to avoid burn out. For me, this includes: acupuncture, pilates, weight training, energy work, organic food and other sources of nourishment for body and soul. Andrea Dubravsky: You and your husband are both marriage counsellors. Does it mean you have the perfect marriage with no fights? Linda Samson: Like most married women, feeling burdened, at times, by how difficult and demanding life can be, I would say, “absolutely not!” My husband and I are both survivors of trauma. While trauma intensifies one’s need for close relationships, it also undermines one’s ability to create and maintain such relationships. I would say our greatest challenge as a couple is to offer each other deep emotional support…where one truly knows one is worthy of love and caring. We are blessed, however, with having learned skills to maintain a sense of secure attachment, as well as access to resources, when those skills are not enough. In his “Letters To A Young Poet”, Rainer Maria Rilke wrote: “ For one human being to love another human being…that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us…the ultimate test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation.” I understand this. Andrea Dubravsky: You recently lost your dog. Did you need grief counselling or were you able to manage on your own? Linda Samson: Yes, we lost our beloved Golden Retriever, Calee, last October. No, I did not seek grief counseling. I was able to mourn the loss of this gentle soul quite openly. My friends and family know me to be quite emotionally expressive, whatever the source of the tears may be…joy or sorrow. I was blessed, growing up with a very tender, loving father who taught me that tears were nothing to be ashamed of. No small feat for a man in the 50’s! It’s been four months now since Calee’s passed. Her collar hangs from the rear view mirror in my truck. I miss her still….especially when I wake up in the middle of the night. I still see the imprint of her body in her big pillow over by the wood stove. I don’t think we ever “get over” our losses. The best we can hope for is to learn to live with it.
Set as favorite
Bookmark
Email this
Comments (0)
 Write comment
|
Subscribe to this comment's feed
Show/hide comments
Show/hide comment form